I have been going to the river nearby to swim after the ceremony to cool down because my body gets hot under the effects of the medicine. Ayahuasca awakens very powerfully in me at this time, even with a small dose, and I am moving and processing a lot of energy and emotions. Diving into the river yesterday, after the ceremony was a great joy and an amazing way to balance out all the heat of the fire element that I was working through during the ceremony.
My body still felt like I had open wounds after a spiritual surgery even after the swim, I felt exhausted. So, what a gift it was to experience a bonfire, which they build here at AyaMadre every Friday night. This was a properly built bonfire, around 7 feet tall, and they didn’t have any trouble starting it, despite the rain just minutes prior to start time.
This was my first time coming to the bonfire here, I didn’t feel connected to the kinds of people that were here when I first came here and I didn’t feel like being around them or socializing. This time it’s very different, the couple that came about week ago and another guy that’s here, I was able to connect with these three and it has rekindled my faith that good people still exist. The couple left this morning, so it’s just me and Mr. B now, who I have connected with, and Mr. S who I had a conflict with.
Things are fine now with Mr. S because he said some good things during the integration and even thanked me for pointing out the importance of smoking mapacho consciously and respectfully.
The traits that I am looking for as a requirement for me to have any interest in people as potential friends are: respect, kindness, intelligence, open mindness, non-violent communication, love, awareness, consciousness. Also, people that I would most likely connect with have to drink Ayahuasca and we have to have ceremonies together with integration. That is the best way that I know of to build real connections and community. We have all of that here at AyaMadre, in addition to living together and seeing each other everyday which is another important aspect in building true friendships.
I have received much healing by connecting to the fire. I focused on my stomach’s area and especially the sacral chakra of the hara. I felt like the fire was purifying and healing my body on very deep levels that I wasn’t able to touch before. My open emotional, spiritual and mental surgical wounds felt like they were being healed and sealed by the heat of the fire element that was awakening in my body. This felt like Divine Mother’s caress of warm, loving, gentle joy and I was quietly moaning of pleasure. I feel like I have received the much needed fire element to balance out the water element in my body.
Today was beautiful, I haven’t felt so peaceful and joyful in my entire life and this is only the beginning. Mr B. and I are going to the city tomorrow morning, I want to buy more cacao and get a haircut, and a few other things.
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